Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Where do I stand?

As a woman, mother, person starting to near "middle" age (dare I utter these words) it causes me to reflect on where I stand. Where I stand in society, where I stand as a woman, a mother, a friend, a wife; all of these titles of mine define who I am, where I  "stand" in the lives of those I reach.. touch.
It is often sombering to realize that at this point I should be "all grown up now" yet sometimes I look around at my brood, my home, my crazy life and think "am I really in charge of all of this?" 




It may make you chuckle, picturing me frazzled, pouring over my endless to do lists, shuffling my girls into the mini van, chauffering them around to their various activities, school drop off, playdates, doctor's appointments, therapy sessions (for my special needs miss) etc etc that I even worry about being someone worth a special position in the world. Still, I can't help but feel as I get lost in the busy-ness of my life that I don't really know where I stand.

Today the world places less value on motherhood, let alone stay at home motherhood. Women are judged by their looks, how fit they are, what # their clothing tag says, or how put together they look when they head off to run errands for the day. Sometimes I manage to pull it off, early morning workout... check... showered, straightened hair, makeup on, cute outfit with jewelry ... check. Kids looking cute, hair combed... check. School drop off looking ready for the day instead of my pajama-fied tired version... Check. I could check off many things I manage to get done on a daily basis but do they really, truly matter? Interesting theory. 

My 8 year old looked at me yesterday morning and totally changed my outlook with 5 sweet words, " you look pretty today Mommy." Even though I had bags from pulling an all-nighter with her little sister and literally had thrown myself together, I realized where I stand with this girl. Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. 

Where do I stand as a wife? Being married for almost ten years causes me to smile as I look back at all of the crazy times we have had. 3 children, 3 moves, a Bachelor's, Master's, job changes, diagnosis of our daughter's life threatening disease, family trips, milestones, memories, the list goes on. It has been eventful. So, do I look the same as we did when I got married, well not so much she is in there somewhere (ha). Do I still get to be the fun, easy going twenty-something I was when we first were together, occasionally. The enduring part of my marriage is what I am most proud of. That despite life has thrown us some hard balls, it is pretty clear when I think about it, we stand together. 

Friendships are a huge source of positivity, especially for women, mothers. Some of my greatest friends have given me the best advice, been there to laugh with me, even cry. As women it is easy to compare, feel a little less around those that might be so wonderful that they supposedly dull our sparkle. But as I write this, I chide myself, silly silly me. My grandma once told me " to have good friends you need to be one." Isn't that the truth? So, do I stand in a good place with women I value as friends? I think so. As for the insecurities I sometimes have, or the disconnect I feel at times being the "special needs mom" verses the " typical mom" it will be all right. Standing on my own is ok, but standing together with good friends at my side is far better.

I feel as I have written this post I have answered some of my own questions. Life has a way of doing that for you. We all have images of ourselves, positive and negative. It is easy to forget how important our own individual roles are to the little people, spouses, friends, peers that we love. 

I may not be the most put together mother at school pick up, or an accomplished professional, an amazing chef or a natural size 2, but I do have value, we all do. 

Seeing it in my child's eyes as I transfer her from her wheelchair to my arms, I see it. Late at night when a cry comes over the baby monitor and I know my little's epilepsy has begun, I see it. She needs me. Listening to my daughter's piano piece she has practiced for weeks and is excited to show me, just Mommy, I see it. Hearing my middle's jubilant glee as I walk into the school lunch room to eat lunch with her, I see it.  When all of my children light up to see me as they rush in the door from school I see it. Even if I don't deserve such praise or admiration on my grumpier days, it is there. My value to them is real. 

 Recognizing our true value, where we truly stand in our own little "universe" is a gift. A constant struggle and project to work on...
I am thankful for my place in my crazy, a little less glamorous world. To me it is worth standing up for...






  - Brit

55 comments:

  1. I love this. Sometimes it all so seems overwhelming, but when you take a moment to step back and reflect, you realize how lucky you are.

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    1. So true Kristen! Thanks for reading:)

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  2. So important to focus on what we do well and build ourselves up! Thanks for the reminder!

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    1. Thanks for reading Natasha! I need to remember these daily lol!

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  3. Lovely! It's so true. Getting caught up in all the things we don't do, or can't do can drown us if we let it. Seeing ourselves as our children see us and extending ourselves some grace is most certainly for the best. Love it!

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    1. Thanks so much! I am trying to practice what I preach but taking a step back is a good thing to do sometimes:) Thanks for reading!

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  4. Your daughters are adorable. Great perspective

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  5. Such a sweet post! You have a beautiful family!

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  6. This is wonderful! I needed to read this. I wrote a very similar post yesterday, and I am glad we connected. Sometimes we forget that who we are deep down is valued by those we love and those who loves us. BEAUTIFUL post <3

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    1. Thank you! It means a lot coming from someone with way more experience at blogging than me. Can't wait to follow you!

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  7. Your girls are so beautiful and you sound like, deep down, you know exactly where you stand. I totally agree that we need the comfort of girlfriends as much as our partners. Our girls can bring so much to our lives and we should all always be grateful for those friendships.

    Katie <3

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    1. Thank you Katie and thanks for reading!

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  8. Beautiful post! First time visitor here. You and your girls are all gorgeous!
    The value the world puts on us is meaningless. We are priceless in God's eyes and in the eyes of those most important to use.
    God bless!
    -Jenn

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    1. Thanks so much Jenn! I am new at blogging so I appreciate the kind words!

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  9. Love this! Being a mom is a tough job - and it can definitely be overwhelming sometimes.

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  10. Very well said! Great post. Our lives can be beautiful journey's if we just recognize it. Sounds like you are living a wonderful one!

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  11. Love this, I think you are doing am amazing job and your gave birth to the prettiest babies. From all the children all appreciate their mothers to death I send the love your way for those mornings when you need a little lift me up

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    1. Thank you Miranda! I appreciate the kind words and thanks for reading!

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  12. This was a beautiful post, your girls are absolutely beautiful!

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  13. Love this reflection! I ask myself these questions a lot! Probably too often ;)

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  14. Well said! We are our children's heroes, even if no one else recognizes us. Lovely family.

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    1. Thank you so much Melissa, and thanks for reading!

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  15. Beautiful post. It always makes me feel good when my son says 'you look pretty mommy' or 'your hair looks pretty' when really it just air dried and I haven't even run a comb through it. I wish that I could feel about myself, the way that my son sees me... if that makes sense.

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    1. It makes perfect sense! We all need to be a little kinder to ourselves:). Thx for reading!

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  16. I know how you feel. As women we take on so much, but I really wouldn't change it for the world :)
    http://www.thecrushworthy.com

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  17. Beautiful! Women I feel definitely go through this self questioning more than men. I feel as though we are second guessing if we are living up to "the standards" placed by society, ourselves, parents, who knows. But it is good to take a minute or two and do some soul searching, self reflection and get back to the task at hand -- living life the best way you know how!

    Thrifting Diva
    www.thriftingdiva.com

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    1. So very true, thank you! And thanks for reading!

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  18. it's so easy to lose our balance in all the busy things of the world! great reminder here to reflect and appreciate! =)

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    1. Isn't it tho!? Thanks for reading:)

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  19. So Cute! Glad your daughters are learning piano!

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    1. Awe thanks! Yes they love piano:) and thx for reading!

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  20. What a great personal reflection! I know that many of us can relate.

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  21. This is a great reflection. Sometimes we have to take a step back and soak in all of the positive that comes from our life. You are a great mother and I am 150% positive that your children love you.

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    1. Thank you Leanna, and thanks so much for reading!

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  22. Here from the special needs parenting bloggers fb group and so glad I came!! I love this and so completely feel you when it comes to "am I really in charge of all of this?" And yet, we are. We're doing and being and well, life is amazing.

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  23. AW, this just made my heart smile so big! I am actually sharing a link to your story in my weekly warrior queen links tomorrow! This post was definitely inspiring to me, and I hope to be like you when I become a mom :)

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    1. Raewyn that makes MY heart smile thank you! I am new to this blogging world

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  24. I love this, Brittany. Thanks for adding it to the Dream Team Tuesday link up.

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