I have never been much of a blogger, but I do express my feelings and share what it is like to be Brookie's mom quite often on social media. In an effort to journal, preserve these tender feelings that often are forgotten as time passes and life's craziness takes over I decided to create a blog. I am new at this so it won't be fancy at first, but I am sure in time I will learn the tricks of the trade and mine too will look cute and fabulous!
To start this blog off I just want to say, being the mom to my 3 precious girls is such an honor! They teach me things I never knew about myself, they push me to learn and grow and they teach me about God's love for us. I often talk about Brookie and her triumphs and struggles so I want to give credit where it is due to my other beautiful girls Juliette and Audrey. I could not do this life without them, truly. While our lives are filled with the typical sisterly disagreements etc etc they truly have stepped up and become responsible, caring little girls. Really the best big sisters to Brookie, and I am thankful for them!
So, this blog will chronicle our family adventures, daily fun, memories, love, struggles, day to day life as a mom of daughters as well as my life as a special needs mom. Mostly it will be positive and happy for that is what my life is, but sometimes it might be sad. Having a child with a life threatening disease does cause times of grief, but I am determined to use the blog for good and to show what a happy life we have despite our trials. So forgive me for my faults, don't judge me on bad days, and hopefully you will get a peek into the lives of 3 very special girls.
I am lucky and blessed. I did not think I would be cut out for a life like mine but it has taught me to be strong, be happy no matter what and to value the people who are truly there for you. The friends that become family, the family that loves you no matter what, all teach me everyday to be better. I am grateful. Hopefully, this blog will be a good way to reflect my gratitude and to preserve the memories of our adventures together.
People have asked me where did Brooke get her nickname, " Brookie the Brave"? It came to me one night as we were putting together a Facebook page for her as well as a team for the annual Hope Kids Walk. I wanted something catchy but something that described exactly what kind of person, child she is. Later that night a cry came over the monitor, asleep I stumbled out of bed and ran to her room. Rushing in I noticed my poor little girl was convulsing with a seizure. Gently picking her up and holding her tight I took her to the family room and rocked her thru the seizure episode. As her body shook uncontrollably and her sweet, sad cries filled the air I felt so mad, so helpless that God would let this happen. This had happened hundreds of times before, epilepsy was nothing new to us, but on this night the unfairness just hit me.
Then time passed on, emergency meds were given and I rocked my baby girl to sleep. Just before sleep overcame Brooke looked up at me clearly and straight into my eyes. She is visually impaired but I KNOW she saw me. In her eyes I saw her strength, her courage, and I felt like our spirits connected and she was telling me it was ok. She chose this, and we would get through it together. I have never felt the Spirit so real and tangible as I did that night. I felt like Brookie was this brave little messenger, sent from heaven to remind our family of God's love for us and why were here. My anger subsided, Brooke's fell asleep and my heart felt healed.
That is when our Brookie became "BROOKIE THE BRAVE." And we have never looked back. This girl has faced more than most 4 year olds, her sisters have had to grow up faster having a special needs sibling, and Ryan and I have been challenged to our limits. But because or little daughter can be brave, so can we. So we press forward, " coming what may and loving it."
I hope you can share in our joy and follow the life of this brave little sweetheart and her big sisters..